Seeing Spots??

I saw Dr. Miller yesterday and needless to say, he wasn't very happy with me. He told me that I didn't understand the meaning of just resting and that I had to stop doing everything. No more meetings, no more walking around Lowe's, no more going up and down stairs, and that I shouldn't be riding in the car for an extended period of time. The spotting had almost stopped until I got to the office at which time there was a lot of dark brown.

On a positive note.....the babies look beautiful! Their sizes are perfect, there is plenty of fluid for both. The tear looks smaller and the fibroid has not grown. It is on the back left side of my uterus, close to the opening of my cervix which is why I am having pain on the left and is possibly why I have a tear in the first place.

It's 4:33 a.m. and I just got up to go potty and the dark blood is back. I am just hoping this thing is bleeding itself out. Lots of postings I've read say these things usually resolve by 20 weeks. Not much longer now. I can hang in there, I hope!!! It was positive to hear that the babies are doing great but now the blood is back and it stresses me out. I can't clear my head to go back to sleep so here I type.

The girls are so excited for Christmas. I am trying to stay positive for Peter, myself, and to show the girls what the having the "Christmas Spirit" means. It's getting harder for me to smile when I have a ton of things on my mind. Not just with the babies but just the whole place our whole family is right now. My parents are stressed, his parents are stressed, just about everyone I know is stressed. It's just stressing and I know it isn't good for my to be preggo with twins and unable to silent my thoughts. We all just need something positive to happen. So here I am trying to think of positive, positive, positive. It's just wearing me down and it's getting harder to snap out of it.

But..........the babies are healthy and growing perfectly........my girls are excited about Christmas.......they are trying to be better helpers in their own little ways........I just felt the right baby move......we have a family that loves us.......I have really good friends that will be here for me no matter what......I'm trying to snap out of it but I just can't so I'll just stop for now and type back later! Everybody think happy and positive thoughts and maybe something good will happen!