11 Weeks and counting

Well my birthday, November 4th, didn't start out as lovely as I had hoped. I started spotting at 4 a.m. and stayed up all night, worrying. It wasn't bright red blood, more peach colored. I called the dr. at 8:00 a.m. and was in there by 8:40 a.m. Another vaginal u/s and everything looked different from last week. The babies were pushed over to the left, they were on the right last week, their measurements matched last week and now the lower baby is measuring a few days behind. There was this big round thing on the u/s which turned out to be a fibroid growing with the babies and is now as big as them. I also have a subchorionic hematoma. Here's a link to help understand exactly what that is: http://www.justmommies.com/articles/subchorionic-hematoma.shtml . I was in the process of asking questions when there was a knock on the door, the dr. started saying sorry, and he had to leave to go to labor and delivery. He told me bedrest for a few days as he was running out, keep my appt. in 2 weeks with them and that he was sorry. There I sat, my legs in the stirrups starring at the technician. She couldn't answer my questions and I didn't know which way to turn. I got to my car and lost it. I called my mother and talked to her until I calmed down. I came home, still very upset, balling my eyes out to be exact. I don't know why I got so upset. It's just so hard hearing that anytime there is blood present you are in danger of loosing your babies. I think I would have been a little more at ease if my dr. had stayed around long enough to answer my questions. Am I wrong in being a little miffed at the fact that there was no one for me to talk to about the news I had just received? I felt so lost. Thank god for the internet! I googled subchorionic-hematoma and found lots of helpful information. Apparently it was much more common than I realized and more so in multiple pregnancies.

I also think I am so tired of my birthday's. I use to look so forward to my birthday and the last few years they just suck. Next year is my big 4-0 and I am so hoping it won't suck. If I make it through this pregnancy and we are able to have the twins, they will be about 7 months old at my 40th birthday. Wow, that'll be a fun time! That's around the time that they start interacting which is always a fun time.

Really, my hopes are that everything turns out great. Just knowing that I am only 11 weeks and have already been placed on bedrest, it's a little daunting thinking that most of my life for the next few months will be just laying around but - if that's what I have to do, then that's what I will do. It could be much worse and I could be in the hospital on bedrest. Let's just hope I can avoid that all together.